Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
