I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
