I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
