break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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