check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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