I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
