hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
