Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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