WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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