just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
