hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
