You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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