The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
