There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
