in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
