Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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