Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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