Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
