I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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