haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
