That's intense
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
