Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
