I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
