okay pat passed out under dana's car
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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