hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize