She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
