3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you like me you must not know who I am
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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