Pappa wants mamma naked
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
