I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
