Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Holy shit dude........stairs
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