I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
