I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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