Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
