We named our party play list daddy issues
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
