She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize