I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
