a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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