What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
