You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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