At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
