This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm like, not good at living.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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