I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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