His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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