How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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