i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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