Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
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If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms