my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.