Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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