Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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