you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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