help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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