i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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