New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
