Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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