it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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