Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Randomize
