Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
