I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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