my sisters under your porch take her home
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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