I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
