I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
