she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
