were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
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just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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