Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
