woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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