I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants