I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.