just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.