Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.