don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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